Troy Sinéad O’Connor

I’ll remember it And Dublin in a rainstorm And sitting in the long grass in summer Keeping warm I’ll remember it Every restless night We were so young then We thought that everything We could possibly do was right Then we moved Stolen from our very eyes And I wondered where you went to Tell me when did the light die You will rise You’ll return The phoenix from the flame You will learn You will rise You’ll return Being what you are There is no other Troy For you to burn And I never meant to hurt you I swear I didn’t mean Those things I said I never meant to do that to you Next time I’ll keep my hands to myself instead Oh, does she love you What do you want to do? Does she need you like I do? Do you love her? Is she good for you? Does she hold you like I do? Do you want me? Should I leave? I know you’re always telling me That you love me Just sometimes I wonder If I should believe Oh, I love you God, I love you I’d kill a dragon for you I’ll die But I will rise And I will return The Phoenix from the flame I have learned I will rise And you’ll see me return Being what I am There is no other Troy For me to burn And you should’ve left the light on You should’ve left the light on Then I wouldn’t have tried And you’d never have known And I wouldn’t have pulled you tighter No I wouldn’t have pulled you close I wouldn’t have screamed No I can’t let you go And the door wasn’t closed No I wouldn’t have pulled you to me No I wouldn’t have kissed your face You wouldn’t have begged me to hold you If we hadn’t been there in the first place Ah but I know you wanted me to be there oh oh Every look that you threw told me so But you should’ve left the light on You should’ve left the light on And the flames burned away But you’re still spitting fire Make no difference what you say You’re still a liar You’re still a liar You’re still a lawyer

sept24,2009

I only look for air in the sky

With pale cloud with rich stories

When you jump,

your feet lands on a different ground

There is a truce

Between good and evil tonight

Tonight is special

Under the heaven’s sky

Freedom exists in a book

Which I cannot discover

The flowers are shrilling

With one foot in and one foot stomping the ground

I look for the hidden meaning

I see the world grow old

I see you dissolve, I see myself

Dissolve to be a dot

I love when we leap

Dropping valuables we don’t need

Singing songs which are soon to be forgotten

Down in a well with no memories

Spiral smoke

And colorless ends

Singing merry tunes

With assassins inside my head

Grass turns to ashes

Like everything else

In a small room

My opinions slightly change

I’ll never know

Many things I long to know

Why it looks the same

If you laugh or cry in the rain

Why shadows crash in the dark

Like a stream meets the eye

Why we got to do

What we are doomed to do

Morale is a measure of a unit’s psychological strength

difficulty that causes worry or emotional tension; rest easy

you know that as much as i do, i live as fabulous as you imagined

state of well-being characterized by emotions but defied by life as a reject

ranging from contentment to intense joy to passion from searing pain

emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being is what you call control maybe

the state of being sad; “she is tired of his perpetual sadness” is just an anecdote.

gloominess: the quality of excessive mournfulness and cheerfulness if yo under the moon alone

the sociopath cat will always scratch,and every moment you can turn out the light

as now im in a better state.you might feel jealous saying “i miss those good times”

where my mind was there to remind me that exist all that time, and sang songs about life

[ i forgot maybe,

i forgot somehow,

i forgot

cause i have wrapped my head wit Saran wraps ]

there is no-one else now

so you close the doors or shut the windows,

cause the doctors wont send me home

maybe im like the star that burns

a bit but not completely

cause we all have our wills to live and then again we lose it to fate

im talking myself through wires, maybe cause i just want to communicate

cause every changing again as i blink my eyes

cause everything breaks if you throw them to the solid ground

cause its just an obsession to live and wish to survive

under the petite sun

cause my life is worth just like yours, theres nothing to surrender.

cause i and you just hate the facts all lives are interconnected

maybe the world is a just big living organism waiting to dive

I don’t believe in freedom

I don’t believe in lives emerging to me

I don’t believe in you either
But I feel safe from where i see

All the jewels of the night
And all the tears from oceans
And martyrs hanging like living puppets
From ceiling like wind chimes

Through the window of space
I saw you feast upon children
Bodies after bodies, piled to be eaten
And the world closes before me

Curling and unfurling
A game they are playing
We were floating reflections on a mirror,
Even though we were just photographs on stones

This brand new day
Is it my home, or my pride?
Last protection of soul gone insane
No one’s there to save

Inhaling life to die is not a sane way to live
Maybe it’s just a perception
World seems so tragic if the end meets the eye
I felt a mixed sensation when I saw water drenching the sky

The sky was too bright to see
But it rained forever in that room
God had such a high standard
What will it take to live in this place?

 I would probably always gonna write stuffs like this forever till it’d be KHALED CLICHE, I’ve this weird way of expressing things as everything is so illuminated, sometime its hard for people to think I’m crazy slash fanatical slash a scenic human being , I‘m NOT crazy. My definition of freedom got its orientation from music, narcs and women and life herserlf. in this great present moement, enjoy it as much you can, you cant forget your past, while I’m not gonna be here forever, bones will always turn to dust.

Listening to Redemption song…songs of freedom, all I ever had. Amazing words coming out from a prophet, now comes jah work, tell me if u really know if I’m really a man, can u tell why my heart beats faster shaking legs like a friend, a bad karma for the actor and insult to the scene, I’ll cut off the actor for my soul to come back to me. When you listen to music, you brain receptor gives u joy. For me it works fine, as long as I’m in the middle of it. I’m eating it with my brain and playing them with my fingers. like touching up a teenage in vein. I’m inside the emptynesss, and its filling my lungs, feeling under the weather and moon as usual.
Brain doesn’t response, not my fault; maybe the whole definition is wrong. What if 6 was 9 (hahahah qudos Hendrix) and bad was good, then we’d be bounty hunters and take out the GOOD. I look for my fate in this word; I stood upon suffering and smeared my face with shame. I gravel. I dig too, digging bones like my reverence said, just dig holes…..

I slip away every day further alone

Evolution is a word
Yearning to be alone
Evolution is a happening twerp
Because my intellect is now emaciated to die like flowers

Like a rifle never fired, only once dropped
Like desire
Like yearning to be free
Please curb your fervor and pity
Because you don’t know when you are going to fall
Anyways I’m not next to you if you do,
So who cares what they might do?

Like leaves and flowers wither as they age
They are not departed but disappeared
Never to be seen by any eyes that’s to clean and clear
Can you hide the nausea that’s in my brain?

I hush you with a look
And kill you without fear
Victim is me
I’m my own slayer
And I’m never meant to be you.
Cause you are not me

May 15, 2009

Life is twirled, against all odds we all tend to stand and walk away without a bruise, but you see, life isn’t that simple when you are not so simple, an essence that would remain forever. I like taking photographs, it’s like my own love trap or chicken soup for my soul, a way to liberate myself from the gravels that’s unheard, and it’s a scream. Lost my previous cam, and got a better one which was replaced way too early, like within a week. That shook me bad and shook me mad, as I live life to the fullest; let me do my final stand. I should’ve heard the cries my folks thrown at me with a terrible definite silence that’s been here for ages, what silence said is to be free, from everything, cause things are way too multifarious on a dreadful night like this one, the most killing and chilling and again untamed to be free to malfunction as much you want to be, we all fade away, or tides and time will erase us from the history written from a fake rubber band, who cares, we live to see the things we don’t want to see, we grow like the way we don’t want to grow, where everything went wrong? How could I loose tracks of time and life, birth was a mistake from the beginning, god made creations to destroy someday when he’s bored out of his pants and all the religion would be one as we malfunction more to be more rational, we try and we choke, and we escape, like we wanted all the time.…..….